Controversial Daily Nation columnist Njoki Chege mercilessly
attacked plus-size women in her latest article (Here) and many celebs responded
including Mother-In-Law’s former actress Celina, Grace Msalame, One Fm’s Naomi
Ng’ang’a just to mention but a few.
Caroline Mutoko wasn’t left behind, here is what she said:
There’s no easing into
this conversation, so I’ll simply let Pat Lulu Mbela let it rip (However I have
edited in the interest of word count and to ensure the message isn’t lost in
the well meant curses):
I hate that people
like Njoki Chege think Fat Shaming is Ok and since fat people are not human and
therefore have no feelings, it is acceptable for you take to the Saturday
Nation Newspaper to tell them what you think of their bodies!
Here is the thing, as
such people sit there judging me and all the fat people in the world, nobody
cares to know what the underlying cause of that obesity might have been.
I am torn between
pissed off and saddened because some editor of a national newspaper thinks it
is ok for a large section of the population to get insulted and neither do they
care of the repercussions...
So here is my response
to the size 8 columnist called Njoki Chege who would prefer we Fat people do
not talk back after she tears us apart... This is the real world so open up
those ears Miss Chege and hear what this Fat Woman has to say. (PS:- this
response also includes all popcorn grabbing social mediarati who stand aside
and silently agree with her and giggle.
1. I know I am fat. If
you cared so much about my life and what I look like and how I got this way you
would have been there to hold my hand as I disintegrated into a thousand pieces
after losing not one but two children. I doubt many people knew or cared that I
was so broken by my grief that I never left the house for months on end because
even some of the people I called my closest friends were the meanest to me at
my lowest point and I shut myself off except on FB.
2. This is MY life...
I worry about MY life and not yours and I love myself even in this body and
it's limitations, I love myself.
3. As a fashion
designer and I really do not think ANYONE has a right to tell a section of the
population they have no right to shoes and clothing because you have caught
feelings that some guys actually find a fat woman attractive.
4. Fat Shaming is not
a sport that people watch as a bunch of ill-mannered and foul tempered thin
women hate fat individuals because apart from these people having a lot of self
love and some weirdos loving these fat people. The problem is your parents
taught you no respect for others so don't hate fat people for living.
5. I am sorry if
people like me, who are fat tend to have the audacity to accept that they are
not perfect and choose not be miserable but choose to thank God for His mercies
and we just continue being so happy to be alive despite our fat bodies... Deal
with it ... it is their life, NOT yours.
6. Personally I think
such people who are this heartless need to do some soul searching, a check with
Dr Frank Njenga is imperative so he can diagnose why they are such nasty human
beings.
Finally, If all else
fails feed them some cake and tell them to STHUP!!!
Now for me. It is
imperative that you understand that I am not upset with Njoki Chege and I will
not attack her. That’s out of the question. Opinion is opinion. Scream all you
want. Njoki reminds me of myself in my mid twenties when I was hired at Radio
Africa. Bold, fearless and often “controversial”. In fact when my column was
named it said very clearly, “the columnist who says what she likes.” I didn’t
pick the title, my senior editors did. Stop screaming at the Nation.
In 2007 as we got on
the amazing radio-weight-loss journey known as 'Sexy Back', I weighted 86kg. My
life was terrible. My knees hurt but worse my soul hurt. I was in the worst
heart-ache sphere you can imagine. I found my escape in work and food. I worked
14 hours a day easily and I ate my pain when I got home. I have a great palate,
so I wasn’t a cake and sweets girl, I was a Thai, Indian, Chinese, good wine
girl.
I didn’t need a doctor
or anyone to tell me I needed to shed a few kilos. I knew even before I walked
into the Truworths store and I couldn’t fit into the size 14 trousers. I vowed
then that I would never buy a size 16. The journey to losing my weight was
never about the food. It was about me and what drove me to food. For me, it
wasn’t what I was eating, it was about what was eating me.
The first few kilos
were easy to lose. I lost him. Of course blaming him was shallow at best. The
painful truth was, I didn’t love myself as much as I loved him and it was
pathetic to behold. So first I had to decide to love me and in doing so, I had
to rid myself of the things that made me overweight starting with him.
It wasn’t about what I
was eating, it was about what was eating me. Long story short, I still giggle
when I ask for a size 14 and it doesn’t fit. I would love to be a 10, but hey…
I have learnt to recognise the triggers that start eating me before I start
eating. It could be work, a toxic colleague, a nasty client — it doesn’t matter
what it is, that’s the thing I lose first and then the weight comes off.
Every overweight woman
has her own story — I can’t speak for the men, I’ll let Njoki dig into that
lot, but I know for me, identifying the eating trigger is my medicine. Post
86kg to now, as I got happier, as I got into my own groove and got into a
relationship where I wasn’t constantly in tears, I looked and felt good. I
never know what to tell people who remark “you’ve cut” (for heaven’s sake!)
that it’s down to the fact that I am happy. It’s not acceptable to be happy in
Nairobi. You will be made miserable by force — don’t you dare admit you’re
happy. I’ve warned you.
So here is my humble
take on the “fat shaming” from Njoki. Get over it. Fat isn’t the worst thing
you can be. Think about it. You are happy and loved and blessed and there are
people who screamed at Njoki on your behalf. You are lucky.
Being fat doesn't
automatically equal being sad. You don't have to let any aspect of your body
impact your ability to feel love and happiness. Some of the people who carry
themselves wonderfully and have the best outlook on life are big girls. Fact.
Being thin doesn't
automatically equal happy. I have been thin. Ask people who knew me in
high-school who called me “skele”. How I wished for boobs and a nice butt and a
chubby face. My teenage years were full of longing to be a little “fuller” —
thank goodness for my mother who got me out of that zone.
Your health is your
business. There are plenty of thin people with high cholesterol. There are also
plenty of thin people with diabetes. Cancer doesn't give a shit what your BMI
is. If you love the body you’re in, then go ahead and enjoy it. If you don’t,
do something about it. However, I encourage you to figure out your “fat”
trigger. For me, It’s never what I am eating that leads to my weight gain, it’s
always what’s eating me. That’s my fat problem. The End. Pat Mbela, I want a
jacket!
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